Door

When one door closes, another opens
but we often look so long and so regretfully
upon the closed door that we do not see the
one which has opened for us

~Alexander Graham Bell

Super Size Me!

Today i decided to watch Super Size Me
A good movie! Kinda desturbing however...
If you havent seen it i suggest you do :)




~

Wtf air sex?

I loled rather hard today when i saw something called air sex
some show in austin texas! thers not mutch to say then here it is!

VIMBY - Air Sex

The world finals!

VIMBY - Air Sex World Finals

~

pf

Hm have anyone ever considered that we at times
acturly do things to hurt the ones we care deeply
about on purpose? Say things we know they will hate
Or things that will hurt them in some way?...
I think i do this acturly.. Why im really not sure
i suppose it might be becous its easyer then to be honnest
about evrything :/ and a lot easyer then to be honnest about emotions.
no one i perfect, and i sure as hell am far from it...
But its how i act at times..

A nother thing is...
I just watched "Hanging with the homeboys"
And thers something that i could relate to.
A guy who was in love with this girl and saw her
so fine and pure....
then he was out with the "boys" and they went in to this
peep show with the 3 friends, and he saw the girl he was
in love with was in that peepshow being fucked by a nother man..
I have tryed that. Not exactly that but the whole thing about
thinking someone might acturly be special, and then they are the
same as evryone els. but a nother thing is true that Maybe
i shoudent think any girl is special, as it normaly ends up with
a disapointment.... So whatever...

Fuck the world...

Hm

This friday i had an arguement with one i know...
The following night after i went to sleep i had
a intense nightmare... woke up not sure if it was
acturly a dream or not i had.
A rather interesting thing......
I dreamt that it stopped talking forever...
and idk... i really dont this time. Sigh :(
How can i feel so bad over something sutch as that?
Why does it truely bother me so mutch...
For some reason im not sure time will tell..
Has it ever? Or maybe its just a lie to my self?..

Whack-A-Kitty!

Ther nothing els to say then FML
heres a movie



~

Antichrist

Aparently a new movie came out not long ago, called
"antichrist" Made by a genius or a madman called Lars von Trier
From what i understood from previews the movie is so extreme
that people have puked doing the movie becous it became to mutch.
People have needed oxygen doing it simply becous they hyber ventilated
and passed out.... It seems like he is a modern version of Alfred hitchcock.
And aparently thers a sceen in the movie where a girl cuts off her clit!
and you see it! Argh!

Trailer



~

10 things you didn't know about orgasm

Today on my favorit Site/Blog
http://www.tinynibbles.com/index.php
I found this awsome poste called "10 things you didn't know about orgasm"
I must say i knew some of the things in it, as it has been talked about in theorys
more then once, if you want to know what it is then feel free to ask me lol!

Without further postponeing here it is!




~

Answer to life?

I was shown the perfect answer to what the goal in life is :)
I must say i can't agree more to it acturly...
It's something evryone wishes comes true to them
Heres the answer!!



~

Assignment!

7:12
ARGH i woke up to late!!!!!
PANIC! GEEZUS FUCKING CRIST!



8:50

LoL omg, i think i acturly managed to cheat
my english exam simply becous they their tech
guy who is APARENTLY! suppose to prevent us from useing correction etc. doing the exam, he fucked up, or maybe its just that i was a bit smarter then him? idk
it dosent matter, i see it as an open invite to cheating when it comes to this since he was the one who made the mistake not me! Am i wrong about that?
I dont think so atleast.....

10:30

The exam finished :)
Took me 1 houre 30min, it was a rather simply one i have to say. The overall theam was "Thank you for the music"
as some of you know thats also the name of a song by Abba. Something i found funny was i learned a new word actually, and the whole last assignment made me think of something that happend a year ago ( you know what ) and right now i feel kinda happy but a little sad at the same time. i suppose thats what happends at times like this :) Music truly is an amazing thing, it makes our emotions chance, it makes us recall things we thought we had forgotten, it can bring out the best and the worst things in people im sure. Im not sure what i feel right now. The only word i think will do is confused. Recalling things arnt always a good thing, and ironicly a song called Evning Chat is playing on my laptop right now, its beautiful. Im going to try and find it so i can poste it here on the blog... I atleast learned something from my midterm and used it today, i wrote less, a 1000 words to be exactly. god it felt like nothing at all compared to when i write for fun now, its a little ironic when i think back to 4 grade and i coud barely write 100 without going cold :) and now anything under 2000+ seems like a breeze :)
SHe might be right that i have talent, but still have a long way to go no doubt.

A new story

I today started on a new subject, its not opressed
by rules as my concrete jungle was, it is however a
simple thing of my own heart and mind...
The story has been named "The white dragon and the land on the other side"
more or less, it may change but for now thats the name or siad story...
compared to what the name might indicate it might not be like you woud think of it, however
that shall be revealed when the story is done, or the first few chapters atleast....
I will translate each chapter when its done and poste it here on my blog for people
who wish to read it....

~

Chaos theory

For some odd reason the last 3 weeks i have been thinking a lot
about the so called "chaos theory"as i tbh like the thought of it.
It helps me a little to take a step back, something i had lost sight of
as i used to be good at doing that tbh but the past 6 months or so
i lost that ability tbh... Sigh!
so i started chopping a lot of wood agin now, 100kg blocks of oak x.x
gah those take some time to chop down lol, but it makes me nice and sore
after so i sleep better and in the bigger picture its the right thing for me to do,
when you think about what im gonna be spending the next 3-4 months on!
Yes some people know what that is, others do not... if you want to know then you
coud try asking.. But im looking forward to it, i really am...
but for now, exams time sigh.....
today tomorow and wedensday, then after that thers the oral exam.......

~

Meet the

Time for some movies, Team fortress 2 movies to be more exact.....
And imo they are funny as hell so relax and have a laugh.....

Meet the scout:


Meet the sandvich:


Meet the sniper:


Meet the soldier:


Meet the demoman:


Meet the engineer:


And a newly released one thats more of a leak!
I present!
Meet the spy!:

http://www.gamingterritory.com/tf2stuff/siQz7yfT5Tc-high.mp4


~

Ugly Duckling

Something came to mind this morning
Todays youth is a lot like a older fairy tale
that was written by a famous writer
"H.C Andersen"Its called The Ugly Duckling
Some might know it :)
But for the ones that dosent know it its real simple
Its about this swane thats born in a group of ducks
its made fun of all of its childhood and it feels like it dosent belong
finaly it leaves the place, goes out in the world and and the fairy tale goes on
at the end after a lot of things its spring, and it finds it self to have evolved in to
a beautiful young swane white and godlike.

point being, our modern youth is like that swan
we all walk around blind and we might do so for a wile
until we figure out what we want with out life, what we want to
study, and what we want to do....
thers not the least thing wrong in this however, though a lot of people think
its not right.... life is a odd thing.

~

Dancer

I am a Degas dancer,
stopping before my preformence
to fix my blue sash
and wonder about danceing.

My shoes fits well,
I'm glad I'm here,
thought sometimes I ache
and have to rest

You won't be able
to see the ballet.
So judge me on how i stand
near the barre or tie my shoes.

If i do them well
then I am as great
as the greatest
of all dancers

~Julie O'Callaghan

The long awaited!

as quite a few of my friends have been asking me for i here present!
My exams project translated, however it was quite the job, and im sure
its not perfect but i dident bother to do more about it......
I hope you enjoy it!

Concrete Jungle By Mickey.A.C
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Concrete Jungle

It was a gray morning like any other. Peter was sitting again and looking out the window at the rain, that relaxed and unconcerned dripped down from the clouds, down on the streets where they made small puddles of water on the road and then ran down the sewers. You could see a longing look on Peters face, but if you could look closer at him it seemed like there was something he was missing in his life, though without knowing what it was.

Peter took his little black notebook up his pocket and started with a small pen to write “It’s amazing how quiet this concrete jungle can be at the early hours of the day, no roaring cars on the streets, life wolfs that howls against the moon, no people, busy as ants that’s only trying to make more money, because they think if they could only get the newest jacket, everything would get better. But oh how wrong they are on that subject, because simple things such as that isent what creates happiness, but then again what do I know about that?” And then put his notebook back in his back pocket again.

Looking at the notebook it seemed like it was worn down, maybe even a little old, as if had always had it on himself since the day he was born. He got up and walked over to his fridge, to see if there was any food in it, he found some bread and cheese, and started cutting slices of the cheese and threw it on the bread, not like it seemed as he was hungry but more like a duty he had to do to get it over with.

He sat down at the window again, and looked out at the gray weather, but there was now so slowly again starting to be people on the streets this rainy morning.

The sun looked up behind the huge building and left a Silhouette of a concrete jungles alleys, the man build colossus’s that was layer building after building and covered a area, that had no doubt once had a forest and a natural area, until humans had taken control of everything, every little branch and bush.”To think that humans really are that greedy, and yet we still see our self as the holy ones” Peter said to himself and then layd down on his bed to sleep a little now that the sun had slowly started to rise, since he had never been a day person. The sun had always annoyed his eyes, since he was a boy, so he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

While he was sleeping, he was having one of his normal bloody dreams, about humans that died one by one in the most brutal ways you could ever imagine. Right before he woke up he saw a pair of eyes that looked at him and then felt like he was falling down a bottomless pit. Peter woke up with a rush, and still had the feeling of falling in the bottomless pit. His heart was beating like it was trying to get out his chest.

He was sitting a little trying to relax and make his pulse calm down again. You could almost imagine that it wasn’t the first time Peter had that kind of dream, since he didn’t seem extremely shocked about it, but more annoyed about it, then anything else he was tired of, such small annoying things like this tormented him or maybe it was more that he didn’t have control over it, this fear of falling wasn’t something he normally something he was afraid of, and definitely not heights, but the feeling of that bottomless pit, as black as the darkest night without a moon to shine even the least. Slowly he started to return to the world of the living, you could see in his eyes he got less and less terrified, and looked slowly more like his normal self compared to since he woke up a little while ago.

He pressed the switch next to his bed and the small radio started playing a radio channel, some random music, it didn’t seem like he wanted to listen to it but did it more to break the silence in the little room while he calmed down the last bit and got back to his normal self.

Finally after a little while Peter got up to get dressed, once again Peter looked shortly out the window, out at the city from the small apartment was right under the roof, and saw the jungle, but it wasn’t in its quiet peaceful darkness as earlier, but bathed in neon light, cars and people filled the streets, as a river of lights that gently flowed by.

Peter took on his jacket, a gray thick jacket that looked rather worn down and found one of his smokes in a pocket as he walked out the door, and closed it behind him. When he got out on the streets he put it in his mouth, and lighted the smoke as he looked around as to see if anyone noticed him, and then slowly started walking down the street as if there wasn’t anything he had to do, but at the same time as if he knew exactly where he was going.

He walked down all the small streets and alleys in the city to avoid as many people as he could, he looked at all the small windows of all types, shops that sell people he thought to himself as he walked by a porno shop with 2 girls in the window, dressed in lingerie no doubt a lot of people would consider sexy, but it wasn’t something that caught his eye, he kept walking down the dark dimmed alley, it kind of reminded him of a cave, but he didn’t think a lot about it, and he once again stepped out in the concrete jungles light with the cars roaring like lions that hunts its pray. He turned around a corner and continued walked down the neon lighted street, which almost seemed surreal in the way that it was lighted, as an artificial day with black silk walls.

He went out on the main street again, but stopped to look around “you would almost think it’s a circus with all those colors” he thought to himself, relaxed and unconcerned he walked down the street and sees the people who stand on the corners. Cars in all colors and shapes, in a long trail as a snake that moves down the road…

Peter continues down the street and turns in to one of the parks that’s there “one of the last free havens, a green oasis in this concrete jungle” Peter thought to himself. The park was dark with only a few street lights to light up the path, there was a few trees and bushes but not enough to make the park resemble a natural area. “Why do we humans always have to change everything? Why do we always create everything in our own image? God, robots and everything else we have a chance to change” Peter wondered over again as so many times before.

He sat down on a bench in the park and let his head tip backwards, he sits like that a little and looks up in the dark night sky, it was black, beautiful and soft, like a blanket that wraps its lover, a few people came running by but Peter did bother to look up, he just heard their voices that slowly vanished again in the distance, as they moved away from him.

As he sat there on the bench, he couldn’t stop himself from drifting off in to another kind of world, more dreaming then awake, even in the cold air he could imagine how it must had been 300 years ago at that spot. Green forests, maybe a small creek while the sun had shined down on some beautiful nature before humans had corrupted and destroyed it all…

He was suddenly pulled back to reality, away from all the peace and quiet in his dream world when he heard an ambulance drive by, it wasn’t anything new with an ambulance, but it simply just made him curiosity follow the sound or more like where the sound was going. On the way towards the screeching sirens he passed an alley and thought about that there once was a girl that had been stabbed, without anyone had helped her, even though she had screamed out, but she had just been left there to bleed to death while the man walked away.

He finally arrived at the place where all the sirens where, he could see there was a fire in a house, both fire trucks and ambulances were gathered around the place, while they tried to stop it and get the injured people to the hospital. He stood there a little and looked at the fire, it almost looked like a firestorm now, while the fire fighters tried to get it all under control, but Peter didn’t wait and continued down the street towards his own apartment.

He went past a lot of small stores and people on the street, and when in to a seven eleven where he bought a beer, then he continued on his way home, but he didn’t enter his apartment, he instead walked up on the roof and sat down on the ledge and looked out over the city “ god how it’s a odd place we live now a days” he thought and took a sip of his beer and said with a sigh “ I just wish everything would be good in our society, without all the violence and hatred that’s in this world” he once again looked over the city and down at the sidewalk, you could see in his eyes that he seemed depressed, and as he sat there the sun started to rise in the distance with a lovely orange glow that warmed his soul.

He once again looked down on the street, on the other side of the street there was a young girl in a leaf green jacket, with a white bag and black jeans. He sat there and looked at her as the sun hit her hair, she was so beautiful he thought to himself, she looked like the girl he was in love with, but who didn’t want him.

With that thought he leaned over and fell toward the sidewalk with her in his thoughts as he moments later hit the sidewalk and everything turned black.

He woke up with a gasp next to his bed, with a confused look on his face, and then he crawled back up in his bed and sat there, lighted a smoke as he looked out the window. The weather was gray, and it was gently raining, drops of rain that dripped from the clouds, to create small puddles of water on the streets as the sun rises and created silhouettes of the buildings in the concrete jungle, Peter sat there in his bed and puffed on his smoke wondering “ What might happened today?”

~

...

staying within the law has it downsides
i just spendt most my money on bills x.x
stupid taxes.
I cant really rember what i have done this weekend.
i think i had some arguement with nicole aparently
and i think i acted like a idiot to rika. i wonder what els i have done?
Sigh i must say i feel really really depressed right now.
i dont see any good points in life tbh
and i dont see any reason for living...
im not sure what im going to do but i just had enough of life
i cant eat, i cant sleep, my head spins, my body hurts

i dont want to live........

~